Deepening the Appreciation for Your Loved One

I haven’t been with my boyfriend for very long, but already I see in him so many things that make me smile. I don’t want to ever forget them as the years go by and as our relationship matures.

It’s what romance novelists love, the passionate and exciting new relationship. It is in this stage of a relationship where our eyes never ever leave our significant other. We notice everything from the brightness in their eyes to the way they walk to their quirky habitual gestures.

This phase doesn’t last forever. Once mature love sets in, and as the newness of a relationship wears off, you may forget those small things that have attracted you to the ones you love in the first place. Here’s a small list meant to be a simple reminder in paying attention to all aspects of your loved one so you can deepen your appreciation for all that they are and all that they do. It’s an amazing feeling to rediscover these things!

  • Look into their eyes. It was important when you were courting, and it’s still important now. Looking into the eyes of your loved one builds trust and a deeper connection. A simple glance can mean more than an amorous utterance.
  • Say “thank you” all the time. For any little thing they do for you, show you appreciate it by giving thanks. To make it mean more to them, try saying it in different ways. Don’t ever let this habit go.
  • Really listen. Realize your significant other talks to you for a reason and they believe what they say is important. Show that you understand this too! When someone opens their soul to you, do not take advantage – be grateful. And if you’re not interested for whatever reason, just tell them in a nice manner.
  • Notice their appearance. This is a given. Did he change the way he shaves his facial hair? Is she trying a new style of fashion? We keep up with our appearance because we want to impress people, get others to notice, or just to look good. Let your SO know that you’re impressed and that you notice their successful effort.
  • What do they like? What makes her laugh uncontrollably or gives her the giggles? What hobby or idol excites and inspires him? Just recognizing and thinking about our lovers’ interests and favorites helps us to know and appreciate them better. My boyfriend is very passionate about wrestling and looks very intense when watching a match or playing a wrestling game on Xbox. I think it’s cute.
  • Tell them what you think of them. We often appreciate what our lovers do to pursue their dreams or what they do in their daily lives, but how often do we tell them? Don’t sit back and observe. Hearing a little feedback on what we do is valuable information that is very nice to hear from someone we love and trust. Tell him what you think he’s doing is remarkable. Tell her that what she’s doing inspires you!
  • Remember what you’ve gained from them. What has this person taught you? Have you learned more about yourself through this person? Have you felt feelings you’ve never felt before thanks to your beloved? Done things you never would have done? Keep these in mind and think of how different it would honestly be without them.
  • Treat them great now and always. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Don’t risk not telling your significant other that you love them because our future is never 100% predictable. Remember that anyone could be gone tomorrow so make every single day filled to the brim with love and appreciation.
  • Share your dreams and thoughts no matter how crazy. By being vulnerable, telling them your embarrassing secrets, silly stories and far-out dreams, they’ll see just how much you trust them. It’s a two way street.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

-Albert Schweitzer, theologian, physician, philosopher

Do you know of any more that should be added to the list? If so, go ahead and suggest it in the comments!

photo credit: hamedmasoumi

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